The Final Four

C.J., thanks for your great post on Sunday preparation, reminded me of M’Cheyne’s words "A well-spent sabbath we feel to be a day of heaven upon earth . . . we love to rise early on that morning, and to sit up late, that we may have a long day with God" and also of Baxter’s "What fitter day to ascend to heaven, than that on which He arose from earth, and fully triumphed over death and hell. Use your Sabbaths as steps to glory, till you have passed them all, and are there arrived."

I have delighted to see how droves of people have responded with appreciation to your posts (yes, we read all of the comments!). Now, in this post, I am responding obediently to your call for Final Four predictions (although this seems a precarious exercise for two athletically-challenged Southern Baptists and an increasingly pudgy Presbyterian). To engage you in the area of College hoops, given your knowledge, experience, skills and extraordinary gifting would seem to put us at a significant disadvantage!

Nevertheless, in the spirit of rushing in anyway, I offer the following. Much as I hate to admit it (because I’m an ACC guy, not a Big East guy), UConn and Villanova are proabably the two best teams in College BB (though UConn has yet to play a full game) this year.However ‘Nova will lose to BC in their Regional bracket (why? because the ACC needs them too!). But FLORIDA will go to the Final Four after dispatching Georgetown and BC. That’s a pick for our good friend, Randy Stinson, Executive Director of CBMW, who is a Gator.

Fathers and Sons and Sundays

Yep, Mark, I follow a similar approach in order to prepare Chad for the Sunday meeting at Covenant Life Church, only this event is much more important than basketball. Actually, as I understand it, parenting is all about preparation. I need to prepare Chad to fulfill his call as a man to serve and lead, and ultimately I must prepare him for the fast-approaching day of judgment.

My approach to preparing Chad for the Sunday meeting has been informed by the doctrine of the church as clearly taught in Scripture and the Savior’s love for the church as compelling demonstrated on the cross. I want to inform my son theologically about the church and demonstrate for him a passion for the church. I want to transfer to him my love for Covenant Life Church in particular.

Imparting a love for the church must begin with my example. Modeling precedes teaching. Before we teach, we must provide a genuine (not a perfect) example for our children. So, in order to effectively prepare Chad for Sunday, I must first prepare my own heart.

I build anticipation for Sunday by statements I make about Sunday. For many years I have referred to Sunday as my favorite day of the week. And I love Spurgeon’s description of the church as “the dearest place on earth.” That’s how I feel about CLC. So, as Sunday approaches, and finally arrives, I talk to Chad (and everyone else I come in contact with) about how Sunday is the best day of the week, when we go to the dearest place on earth.

Covenant Life Church on Sunday is also the happiest place on earth. There should be no happier gathering than the one where we are reminded of the Savior’s substitutionary sacrifice on the cross, where He satisfied the righteous wrath of God and secured our forgiveness and justification. Thus, preparing Chad for the Sunday meeting begins first in my heart and with my example. But there are certain grace-motivated practices I seek to model for Chad and inspire him to emulate each Sunday. The following would be a sampling:

• Greeting–I want Chad to serve others by cheerfully greeting them. This also helps him put to death selfishness and overcome the fear of man.

• Serving–Chad’s love for the church will grow as he serves in the church. At present, he serves on the children’s ministry administrative team, and together we hand out bulletins and greet folks as they arrive on Sunday.

• Encouraging–I want Chad to take special note of the army of folks joyfully serving each Sunday and express his appreciation to them. The Savior defines true greatness as humbly serving others for the glory of God. True greatness in the form of humility and servanthood is on display each Sunday at CLC, and I want Chad to discern and acknowledge true greatness. So, each Sunday I help Chad to be intentional about thanking folks for the different ways they serve. And I have him encourage whoever has preached that day. Yesterday, he thanked and encouraged Joshua Harris (my favorite Senior Pastor) for the outstanding message he preached from Luke 15.

• Singing–I want Chad to sing sincerely and passionately during worship. Singing is an appropriate response to the Savior for His amazing grace. Through singing, Chad is loving God with all his heart, soul, mind and strength. A parent can discern a lot about their child’s heart by the presence or absence of participation and passion in worship.

• Learning–I believe in the importance of hearing expository preaching as a primary means of grace for the Christian. The preaching event must be a priority for our children. Therefore, listening carefully and responding appropriately to the sermon is very important. Both Chad and I take notes during the sermon. This helps us to listen carefully and is invaluable as we review the sermon together during the week. Yesterday, Chad told me he took seven pages of notes on Joshua’s sermon (his notebook paper is small). 

So this is what I do. I’m not suggesting you have to do the same thing, but every father must do something to prepare their sons (and daughters) for Sunday. Please don’t think that preparing my son for the Sunday meeting takes a lengthy period of time. It does not. Since we have discussed these practices at length, many times, I am able to remind him in just a few minutes. He is quite familiar with the question: “Chad, how are you and Dad going to please and glorify God at the meeting this morning?” This brief conversation can make all the difference in both our lives that day.

Before I conclude, I must mention the importance of review after the Sunday meeting. If all we do is prepare our children without review, there will be minimal application and therefore little effect. So, Chad and I have multiple conversations about the Sunday meeting throughout the week. It usually begins on the car-ride home, and is normally a part of the time we spend together each Monday afternoon. Monday is my day off, and Monday afternoon Chad and I hang out together. Unhurried conversation on a wide variety of topics is a part of this time, and we often review our experience of the Sunday meeting. If not during this time, we’ll go over the Sunday meeting when we have devotions together during the week. Much of my review with Chad involves encouraging him and celebrating how he has applied truth to his life. Discerning and celebrating evidences of grace in Chad’s life is a daily priority and practice for me as his father. I want my son to experience my affection and hear my encouragement each and every day.

Now this has gone on way too long and you shouldn’t have to devote an entire day to reading my post. But there is one more point I must make, so please hear me out. I am not an expert on fathering. Daily I am reminded of my weakness and sin, and I often need to ask for my son’s forgiveness. I am a fellow sinner and address all fathers from that perspective. And ultimately my confidence is not in my fathering skill or the aforementioned practices. My confidence is in God’s grace and His eagerness to reveal the gospel of grace to my son. Left to myself, I am in way over my head as a father. But God hasn’t left me to myself. He has called me to this holy task. He has given Chad to me as a gift and a holy assignment. Chad needs to be trained and I need to be sanctified. And God has promised to do both by His grace and for His glory.

Final Four

My friends, I think we have a moral obligation to publicly reveal our picks for the final four as well as which team we think will win it all.

Mark, I’m assuming you have Cambridge winning it all, but this isn’t rowing, my friend. And Al, these can’t be Mary’s picks; they must be your picks. I had a friend suggest that if you didn’t have any help from a knowledgeable fan your final four picks would be Harvard, Stanford, Oxford and Cambridge. And did you guys know that Lig conveniently scheduled minor surgery (surgery is minor only when it’s not you) for last week? You’ve got to admire a man who knows the optimal time of year for surgery. March is always the best time for a medical procedure, followed by extensive recovery time watching the madness.

Here’s the rule. Your picks have to appear by Thursday noon or they won’t be recognized.

So, who ya got?

Oh, I almost forgot–Al and Lig, given all your titles and positions, can’t you get us tickets to the final four? I’m questioning your actual influence if you can’t deliver tickets.

Twin Lakes Fellowship

Thanks for the post on the CHBC Weekender, Mark, and for your reiterated invitation to me to tell folks about the Twin Lakes Fellowship. I had some surgery on Wednesday of this week, so have been out of the loop in terms of posting though I have checked the T4G blog regularly.

The Twin Lakes Fellowship is a ministerial fraternal for kingdom extension. We want to encourage church health and growth by commending the "ordinary means of grace." This year (April 4-6 in Florence, MS, at our church’s conference center) we are delighted to have David F. Wells (doing an overview of his Above All Earthly Pow’rs and particpating in a roundtable discussion), R.C. Sproul, Mike Campbell (who preached for John Piper’s conference this year), Doug Kelly, Derek Thomas, Terry Johnson, and more speaking at the TLF.

The Twin Lakes Fellowship was established about eight years ago by the elders of the First Presbyterian Church, Jackson, MS (and receives support and oversight from several other PCA sessions and ministers in Pennsylvania, Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, and South Carolina). This fellowship is designed to pursue a twofold purpose: (1) to encourage ministers and churches to promote the work of church planting through their local congregations and (2) to encourage ministers in their personal growth in grace, so as to maximize their effectiveness in promoting the work of the Gospel.

If I might express it another way, the Twin Lakes Fellowship aims to be an American version of the Crieff Brotherhood in Scotland, except with a specific, positive ministry focus: to encourage church planting through a variety of specific, practical means. The purpose of the Twin Lakes Fellowship is thus positive and Spiritual. It is also unique, in that it is concerned to promote some sense of common ministerial bonhomie, and renew our energy for historic Reformed theology and ministry.

How exactly do with aim both to encourage church planting and to encourage ministers? Well, for example, consider the following. As we gather annually, we attempt (on the church planting side): (1) to promote a heart for evangelism and church-planting among ministers through emphasis, exhortation and example; (2) to encourage some gifted pastors to consider becoming church planters themselves; (3) to encourage gifted seminarians to consider becoming church planters; (4) to encourage an ordinary means of grace approach in the Gospel ministry of church plants/ers; (5) to bring church planters into direct contact with ministers and elders from potential support churches; to church planters themselves opportunities to report, appeal and instruct, as well as to encourage them in their labors; (6) to bring potential church planters into direct contact with ministers and elders who are looking for church planters for specific works; (7) to bring missionary church planters into direct contact with ministers and elders from potential support churches; generally there will be one missionary church planting ministry represented and the rest will be North American church planting; (8) to address practical issues regarding the export of historic reformed theology and church life in a postmodern, multicultural and pluralistic society. (9) to hear from denominational servants and various presbytery spokesmen about church planting strategies and opportunities; and (10) to produce and disseminate literature and resources (books, pamphlets, video, audio, email list and distribution, and internet-available material) to foster church health and growth in the work of church planting.

On the ministerial encouragement side, we attempt: (1) to refresh ministers and glorify God through worship and the ministry of the word; (2) to promote a Gospel brotherhood in the work of Christian ministry through fellowship; (3) to encourage disheartened brethren; (4) to introduce to one another committed men with a shared theological vision; (5) to provide for a time of relaxation and recreation for servants of the Lord; (6) to encourage a pan-Reformed brotherhood by inviting like-minded men from various presbyterian and reformed backgrounds and denominations, both from the region and nation and from around the world; (7) to network with other bodies and organizations for mutual edification, encouragement and stimulation (like 9 Marks); (8) to address at least one critical theological issue per annum, via lecture and discussion, that is impacting the reformed and evangelical community; and (9) to promote theological ministry commitments which are biblical and reflective of solid Reformed convictions.

Now I Get It, Maybe

I have been worried about C.J.’s obsession with Duke basketball.  I am worried that he is more happy for Duke to lose than for his beloved Maryland to win.  This is neither good nor godly.  What can explain it?

Maybe I have found the answer — fear of the Devil.  It must be Duke’s mascot theme, the Blue Devils.  Perhaps C.J. is just like Martin Luther, ready to expose the Devil and his nefarious ways, his evil deeds, and his conspiracy to rob God of His glory.  I am comforted by this thought of my brother, waging a war of wills against the Evil One — a war extended to any athletic team that would claim his name, wear his imagined image, and cheer his victory.  Maybe this is all about theology.

If so, C.J. can take courage from Luther, who knew how to oppose the Devil.  Consider these statements from our German brother:

The devil, too, can quote Scripture and deceive men with it.  But his use of Scripture is defective.  He does not quote it completely but only so much as it serves his purpose.  The rest he silently omits. [LW 52:175]

_________

At all hours the devil is seeking to kill us all.  After you have been baptized, he will not let you have any rest.  If he could kill you in your mother’s body, he would do it.  He is not satisfied to let us have one kernel of grain on the field, one fish or piece of bread, or anything good. Far less does he spare us who are exposing his shame, who rebuke him to his face, and preach what we should — God’s grace and the works of the devil. He would now rather break my neck than let me stand here and preach and storm his kingdom.  [LW, 33:408]

Martin Luther said much more about the devil, of course, and about devils too (many of these statements are not for the faint-hearted or the olefactory-sensitive).  Luther even spoke of "white" devils who appear beautiful in their deception, though I can find no Luther references to devils in any shade of blue.   

But, maybe for C.J this is really about resisting the devil and all who would serve him.  Maybe its really about theology.  Then again, maybe not.   

Fathers and Sons and March Madness

Lig, your care and comfort at this difficult time are much appreciated. I didn’t expect Maryland to be invited to the big dance and they didn’t deserve to be invited (neither did Air Force, George Mason or 4 teams from the Missouri Valley Conference). Maryland fans will comfort themselves with memories of our national championship in 2002 as we anticipate the sweet news of a Duke loss in the tournament. Sunday night after the tournament selections were announced, Chad and I continued our tradition of going out to a local restaurant and filling out our brackets together. I have Duke losing in every round. Thursday can’t come fast enough. Let the madness begin!

I will do my best to provide some answers to your excellent questions about fathers and sons and sports. It is certainly an area I have given some thought and attention to, because of my love for sports and my son Chad’s participation in sports. My son is not only familiar with my love for sports, he is also aware of my idolatrous devotion to sports prior to my conversion. For me, participation in sports growing up was a means of self-exaltation. But I want my son to glorify God and not himself when he plays. So from a young age I have sought to protect him from emulating my past sinful example while building into his soul an appreciation for playing sports as a gift from God. I attempted to address this topic in chapter twelve of Humility: True Greatness.

Playing sports holds great potential for growth in godliness for our sons, but only if we as fathers lead our sons theologically and strategically. I fear that all too often our sons devote significant time to playing sports with little growth in godliness. Here is where the example and leadership of a father can make all the difference. It is our responsibility as fathers to teach and prepare our sons with biblical priorities prior to a game (or practice) and not to assume that we have fulfilled our fatherly responsibility simply by attending the game. And after the game, we should encourage and celebrate evidences of godliness and not primarily our sons’ athletic ability or achievements. Our priorities for our sons’ participation in sports must be theologically informed priorities rather than culturally celebrated priorities. Fathers who aren’t theologically informed are more impressed with athletic ability, statistics and final scores than they are biblical masculinity and godly character.

So, prior to each practice and game (Chad plays basketball and soccer) I have a conversation with my son about how he can glorify God. Here is a sampling of the biblical priorities and practices I review with him:

• Humbly receive correction from your coach and ask your coach how you can grow in character as well as athletic skill.

• Thank your coaches for the way they have served you. And thank the referees after each game.

• Encourage your teammates for their display of godly character and athletic skill–in that order of priority.

• Encourage your opponents during and after the game. If you knock someone over, extend your hand to help them up.

• Play the game passionately and unselfishly. Serve your team by playing aggressive defense [his father never did this] and passing the ball on offense [again, his father never did this].

• Humbly respond when the referee calls a foul on you. Do not complain or disagree in word or by facial expression [his father never did this].

• No inappropriate celebrating after you score; instead, recognize that others played a role [his father never did this].

• Thank the team manager for the way he served and recognize the humility and servanthood he is displaying each game. True greatness is sitting on the end of the bench.

There is nothing original or profound about this list. But helping my son apply it to his heart and life can make a profound difference. So after each game, I review the above list with my son. I go over the game with him and celebrate any and all expressions of humility and godly character. I tell him that this is more important to me than how many points he scored or whether his team won the game (although we do play to win!). Remember, fathers, what you honor and celebrate, your son will emulate. Therefore, we must celebrate godly character more than athletic ability or achievement.

This applies to watching a game as well. So as Chad and I watch the tournament, I will draw his attention to any evidence of humility or unselfishness I observe, as well as any expression of arrogance or selfishness. I will celebrate the former and ridicule the latter. I don’t just watch the game with Chad; I seize it as a teaching moment to equip him with discernment about true greatness in the eyes of God.

My passion for my son as he plays sports is that he would please and glorify God. I want him to grow in godliness, not simply athletic ability. You see, Chad will never play professional sports. His participation in sports is temporary and meant to be preparatory. Like his father, he will inevitably grow old and only be able to walk for recreation or play golf poorly. But, by the grace of God, sports can help him grow in godly character and prepare him for manhood. His participation in sports can equip him to fulfill his calling as a man to humbly and courageously serve and lead in the home, church and culture. But for that to happen, a father must teach his son to discern and adopt biblical priorities and practices while playing sports.

March Madness, Nine Marks and Carl Trueman

CJ, sorry about the Terps. But, hey, they got an NIT #1. Only a Duke loss will be able to assuage and console you now. Speaking of sports, why don’t you share with us your wisdom on the following: How have you used sports to cultivate biblical masculinity in your son? Given our culture’s propensity to unduly and inappropriately elevate sports figures, how have you helped your son cultivate discernment and guard against idolatry? What are some of the things you say to your son prior to his athletic events? What are some other pieces of advice you would give to fathers regarding sports and character development in their sons?

Mark, I just finished listening to your 9Marks interview with Carl Trueman – excellent! Folks you don’t want to miss this one. It’s entitled "Was the Reformation a Mistake?" on the 9Marks CD (though the conversation is actually significantly broader than that topic). Mark is the best theological interviewer in the English-speaking world, and puts Charlie Rose, Larry King, and Tim Russert in the shade, IMHO.